What is Friendship?

[heartsofgreenbirds]

Assalamu alaikum,

I was reading a friends blog and was abit upset to read the following, he wrote

Yes, friends come and go. Some quicker than others. Recently I realised almost all of my friends have abandoned me for being a "Sufi Sympathizer." Imaam An-Nawawi (rahimahullah) in his Maqaasid states that one of the principles of tasawwuf is not to care what the people think. There is no doubt that this is a hard reality to grasp, but the fact is that if a person is going to be to simpleton to realise the concept of “ikhtilaaf“, one needn’t have them as a ‘friend’. Or are they are true friend anyhow?

We all know the hundreds of proof for surrounding ourselves with people who are upon deen. The problem is finding them!

I wasn't upset about him being a "Sufi Sympathizer" - whatever that is, but the fact that most of his friends have abandoned him and thats how he feels.

So my question is what is friendship?

[UmmNour]

True and good friends are very very hard to find. And some never do find such friends.

[Umm Layth]

wa `alaykum as-salaam

1 good and trustworthy friend is better than 1 million fakers.

[muslimahnyc]

i have only four friends, and we've been through it, from failed marriages, slander, arrests, and i can go on, but even within in that we all don't completly vent or have to tell each other all of our problems, alhamdulillah we leave all of our complete vunerablities, venting, complaning, to Allah swt,

its pretty amazing and fortunate to pray next to one of them or make dua with them and we all start crying mashallah, cause we all know that Allah is our best friend, its like a connection or something, i don't know its hard to explain but we (my friends) get it alhamdulillah

but yeah friendship in my opinion to quote is "the best friend is the one who reminds them of Allah and they begin to weep"

[heartsofgreenbirds]

Assalamu alaikum,

I personally get too involved with people too quickly, so I assume they are my best friends and confide in them and trust them whole heartedly, it was a problem when I was young and its still a problem up until this day.

I guess I see others as I see myself, which is a grave mistake, a mistake I make too often, and one I still havent learnt from.

Wasalam

Yusuf.

[*UmmTaymiyyah*]

Its hard to find good friends and when you would you will know.

I'm on the thought that you cant trust anyone..even your true friends might one day go behind your back. Why is taht anyways?

[UmmNour]

Originally Posted by heartsofgreenbirds

Assalamu alaikum,

I personally get too involved with people too quickly, so I assume they are my best friends and confide in them and trust them whole heartedly, it was a problem when I was young and its still a problem up until this day.

I guess I see others as I see myself, which is a grave mistake, a mistake I make too often, and one I still havent learnt from.

Wasalam

Yusuf.

SubhanAllah. I have same exact problem. I think anyone who is really nice to me, and spends a lot of time with me, is suddenly my best friend. And in the end, I always get burned.

[Khadijah~UmmZakariyyah]

Originally Posted by UmmNour

SubhanAllah. I have same exact problem. I think anyone who is really nice to me, and spends a lot of time with me, is suddenly my best friend. And in the end, I always get burned.

I think we alllllll have this problem in some way or another... Like me, I trust easily but then, I guess I feel inwardly that I don't trust just anyone, but I probly do... Maybe I wouldn't be in the position I am if I trusted less... Maybe

Asalaam alaikum,
Khadijah

[Mujaheedah_18]

I dunno..I guess you first see how they act toward you or see if they talk about you behind you back, etc.. etc. Let some time pass before you start calling them your "best" friend. You never know what may happen.

*shrugs*

[Mu7aaribah]

I really have a problem with friends becoming too close to me and then having to realise they are not even there for me when I’m going through problems. What on earth are friends for if they are not even there to support/advice you when you're in need?? But yet they can crack the best jokes when you're having the time of your life.

Only recently I have started to fulfil the true meaning of friendship amongst my friends. That includes conversing with one another on a personal level and not just hee hee haa haa every time you meet, but to actually discuss & talk about what's really on someone’s mind.


My advice to you is that you should limit the amount of friends you have. Try to keep yourself to yourself and ONLY consult your problems with one of the few friends you have.


Wallaahu A`lam.