7 Tips on Talking to Kids About Homosexuality

[Catalyst]

Have you/will you talk to your child about homosexuality :( ? If you have, what was the response?

7 Tips on Talking to Kids About Homosexuality (http://www.soundvision.com/Info/education/sex/kidstips.asp)

[fatimahye]

I find the best thing is be matter of fact about any topic to children. They can tell if you're freaked out about it. Just how you explain the other scientific processes around you, you can deal with sexual behavior as well. The Prophet sallallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam and the Companions radhi'allaahu 'anhum (including the women radhi'allaahu 'anhunn) were the most decent and modest yet at the same time incredibly plainspoken about it without a lot of ridiculousness.

I glanced at the article, and it seems good, but I disagree on one point:

I do think people may be born with homosexual tendencies (there is a basis from genetics even I believe of people who have messed up chromosomes, etc.) - I vaguely remember references even from our own narrations mentioning "effeminate men", etc.

But the bottom line is being born a certain way does not mean we should not try to control ourselves and stay in line with what Allah wants us to do.

There are people with bad tempers who still cannot commit murder.
There are people with alcoholism/addictive patterns who still cannot drink or indulge in intoxicants.
There are people who are naturally lustful or have high sexual drive, etc. who still cannot commit zina.

So I think (whether it is a scientific fact of if they are born that way or not) that it doesn't change our obligations to try our best to obey Allah.

(It's a good lesson for kids even- you might FEEL this way, but this is what you should DO.)

[Catalyst]

Sexual behaviour, yes ofcourse. But Homosexuality : I just feel introducing it to them may bring them more towards it, or more aware of it, as it is not a natural thing and shaytaan may put wasaawis (whisperings) in their hearts? wAllaahu a3lam

Could you please elaborate on this point:

I do think people may be born with homosexual tendencies (there is a basis from genetics even I believe of people who have messed up chromosomes, etc.) - I vaguely remember references even from our own narrations mentioning "effeminate men", etc.

Jazaakumullaahu khairaa

[fatimahye]

I don't remember the reference but I do remember hearing that term (like some people were denoted as being that way) but best to ask in the Q/S section just to be sure (it may not have been authentic).

I know what you mean about bringing up the idea in and of itself (it was embarassing to me when my daughter brought it up, but you know a girl in her QURAN class at ISLAMIC school called her that, so what can I do- I feel they are going to hear about it, so I'm glad she asked me- I obviously didn't show her my annoyance/embarassment, but dealt with it matter-of-factly). Also don't forget a lot of times the word "gay" is just used not even referring to sexuality, so you could still get the question, "Mom, what's 'gay'? "

That's just my own viewpoint (I do get hotly debated on the way I am frank with my kids from others, so who knows- it's what I believe is best for my children).

[Neon Knight]

aslamualikum
sister(fatimahye) i am not sure which study you are talking about...but according to my knowledge the only study carried out on genetical reasons for homosexuality was falsified and was proven wrong. Listen to dr. naik plus here is an extremely useful link http://www.islamonline.net/english/Contemporary/2003/07/Article02.shtml ....read it carefully....read thru this link carefully.....

Please there is a big difference between a HOMOSEXUAL and an EFFEMINATE MAN....an effeminate man has traits of a woman and no desire for women but he at the same time does not have desire for men....this is a very important difference between effeminate and homosexual....homosexuality stems from perversion while effeminity is something genetical but an effeminate man does not desire women or men...if indeed they did they wouldnt have been allowed to live on our beloved Prophet's time.....please please be careful and make this distinction...so the analogy u used, with all due respect was wrong.....homosexuality is not justified at all....if it was indeed something genetical ALLAh swt wouldnt have condemend it but rather disuaded from it becuase HE knows everything....
homosexual men and effeminate men are NOT the same....

HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT NATURAL AND NOT GENETICAL AND IS NOT JUSTIFIABLE
EFFEMINATE MEN INFACT DO EXIST BUT THESE POOR GITS DON'T HAVE DESIRE FOR WOMEN AND HAVE TRAITS OF WOMEN BUT THE POINT IS THEY DONT HAVE DESIRE FOR MEN EITHER...THEY ARE AS GOOD AS IMPOTENT MEN PLUS WITH NO DESIRE.
if homosexuality was indeed genetical then the qawm of Prophet Lut wouldnt have been destroyed because it was genetical right? No but they were destroyed becuase it is perversion. While effeminate men act like women because that's how they are and hold no desire at all whether men or women.

Another important point effeminate men always existed but PUNISHMENT was never prescribed for them! BUT punsihment is perscribed for homosexuality because it is different....being effeminate is natural in essence and something from ALLAh azza wa jall (and can be possibly justified in terms of genetics) while homosexuality is perverse in nature. So please dont even fall into this trap of saying that homosexuality can exist on natural grounds....indeed it cannot.
ma'asalmah
:rolleyes:

[NaseehaMan]

But I still like the argument that sister fatima used. I've used it once against a Christian. It's easier cuz you avoid the whole debate on whether a person can be born gay, yet you still prove they're wrong.

[Abu Muqatil]

Some more relevant and sensitive advice: Question: I have a big problem. Sometimes I think that I am a gay, but at the same time I have feelings towards women too. I feel miserable. I know Islam is against homosexuality. Am I sinful to have these feeling towards men?

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî, former professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh
If a man has homosexual tendencies in his heart, he is not sinful for these. Allah does not call us to account for the feelings in our heart that we cannot always control. However, we are called to account for the deeds that we do.

A man who has homosexual tendencies must avoid acting upon them. He should remain chaste and seek his reward with Allah for his abstinence.

I advise you to do the following:

1. Do not proceed with those feelings. Instead, engage yorself with something else that is productive.

2. Do not look at men with desire.

3. Do not respond to any mental desire to do any action conforming to these feelings, by touching other men, coming closer to them, or the like.

4. Increase your portion of worship, particularly fasting, if you can do so.

May Allah guide you always.

SOURCE: http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_section.cfm?q_id=631&main_cat_id=33

[Catalyst]

Jazaakumullaahu khairaa for replying

it was embarassing to me when my daughter brought it up

May I ask, how old was your daughter was when she asked?

[Abu Muqatil]

I assume, Catalyst, you mention this specific taboo as the ultimate test of a relationship between parents and their children.

Communications within Asian households can be profoundly poor. This is worse in the case of Muslims as there are shari'ah rulings fixed to certain issues such as those specific to women, the removal of hair and so on. Therefore Muslim parents must learn how to communicate with their children lest they carry the burden of their children's sins too.

If parents speak to children with regards to rulings that will be shortly come into effect, then I imagine that it would be the ideal opportunity to get other 'sensitive' issues explained. Most of this would be around the age of 10 for most boys and girls.

And what excellent examples we have of parents in the Quran: Luqman, Ibrahim, Maryam and so on.

May Allah reform us all.

[Neon Knight]

I think homosexuality is unnatural ....i dont know if anyone bothered going through the link i posted http://www.islamonline.net/english/...Article02.shtml (http://www.islamonline.net/english/Contemporary/2003/07/Article02.shtml)

[salma]

my opnion ... i don't think we want the kids to learn about homosexuality from the streets... so it is our responsiblity ... but i dunno howd i tell my kid ... got 7 months inshAllah

[Umm Layth]

You just teach them love for Allaah. Wallaahi every kid knows that when something is not good, then it automatically is bad. If Layth does not like romaine lettuce, then its 'nasty' to him. But if he loves it, then its 'good'.

Love and Hate will go hand in hand as long as you teach them love for obedience to Allaah and so on.

With regards it being natural, i don't know much about studies. However, if this was something that could naturally be in a human as in a type of fitrah that some decide to 'awaken' as one homo told me once, then Allaah would not go against this fitrah. But man was from the beginning created with this natural love for a man and a woman.

Same way that a person may be evil but they naturally are inclined to good but they follow their desires. From what they see around them, to how they are made to feel and so on and so forth.

[UmmAbdulMalikStorm]

But man was from the beginning created with this natural love for a man and a woman.

Thats being bi.

I dont like gays.

[Stuck in Prison]

i was recently talking to a sister who has just reverted to Islaam. She feels we must be open to everyone including gays. How can I explain otherwise to her? She is scared that she will become closed minded and too extreme if she doesnt accept everyone. In the west we are taught to be free and enjoy life in whatever way we please thus for a new revert to accept gays as being wrong while she may have gay friends or relatives is very difficult.

[Neon Knight]

If that really is the case why not embrace beastiality aswell?

allahul musta3an!